21 weeks with baby girl

this will be a lazy and short update because i'm tired! and it's late! haha. we had a good weekend. man we needed that. sunshine and family in town. and baby girl kicking and letting me know she's here and ready to party in a few months. xo!

weight gain: 3 pounds 

sleep: super light and anxious sleeper. the usual. kase and hallie woke me up before 6 giggling while riv slept until 7. little stinkers hahah. i love them. :) 

missing: i officially can't eat as much as i want anymore. i was so full after tandoori the other and it was so painful! never again! 

craving: german pancakes. and peanut butter. 

feeling: good and beautiful. it was around this time with river that everything started to get bigger. all my curves fill out even more and i love it! 

gender: girl and we call her by name all the time! it makes me so happy.  

best moment of the week:  family in town! watching river play with his cousins in this beautiful fall weather made me so happy. it's so fun having a house that fits everyone! 

looking forward to: ryan being able to feel baby! 

xoxo 

It's a girl! We had a hunch. I just feel so happy.  The first time I saw her at 9 weeks and each time I heard her heart beat, I thought girl! But it wasn't as strong as my hunch with River so I wasn't 100% sure. :) It took about 50 minutes for River to show us the goods so I was expecting the same with this sweetie. Well right when she came up on the monitor her legs were spread out with her cute little butt on the screen and the first thing the ultra sound tech said was, "Do you want to know the gender? It's a girl" I ugly cried. I was attached to HER before we knew for sure if she was a girl. I felt connected to her and so did Ryan and I was so nervous going to the appointment, not that I wouldn't have been over the moon if it was a boy, but I had a bond with my girl and it felt so right! We are so grateful. I think this is definitely one of the craziest months of our lives thus far. So many beautiful and good things, and so many extremely heartbreaking mountains to climb. Our new house is slowly getting there! I am so happy to be here. It's so beautiful and I feel so lucky to raise my family in this beautiful home. It was hard to say goodbye our town home on Sunday. Our first home. The community there helped me through the hardest time in my life and helped me enjoy the most beautiful parts of it as well. Yorkshire will always have the most beautiful place in my heart. My family is all at Tony's trial right now. It's horrible. And painful. And I dread when it's all over the news again and all the jerks out there get to gossip and have their insensitive opinion about it all and then go on with their day... Why we are left without Tony. And so much trauma to continue to work through. I want to punch so many people right now. . Can you tell I'm a little angry? A lot angry? And sad. But with all the jerks out there my family has once again been so blessed by so many of the wonderful people of SV. So many wonderful people have stuck by us and supported us. I love our little valley. Back to baby girl! I think we have a name. We had a name that we loved but as soon as we saw her face it didn't fit! Names are so fun. Here's the sweet video had made by the talented Shey Allen. We are so tired in it and happy, and really stressed.. but so happy. And River is just so dang cute in it! haha! I'm so glad we have this video to remind us of everything hard and beautiful right now. Love you guys!

xoxoxo 

Baby Shurtleff | Gender Reveal from Shey Allen Films on Vimeo.

how big is baby: tomato! 

weight gain: 2 pounds 

sleep: is ok! river is sleeping better. woo! 

missing: not much right now.. well i guess running! i mowed our forest of a lawn with river in our hiking pack and it was the biggest workout of my life hahah! so it's nice to be able to stay really active still but running hurts too bad this time around. 

craving: EVERYTHING!

feeling: see above

gender: girl and i kind of want to announce her name now hahah! but we will wait! 

best moment of the week:  see her beautiful face. she looks like riv with her hansen nose and mouth. PRAYING she has ryan's eyes and hair. like you can imagine?

looking forward to: going to SV tomorrow to be with my family. 

19 weeks with baby GIRL!

It's a girl! We had a hunch. I just feel so happy.  The first time I saw her at 9 weeks and each time I heard her heart beat, I thought girl! But it wasn't as strong as my hunch with River so I wasn't 100% sure. :) It took about 50 minutes for River to show us the goods so I was expecting the same with this sweetie. Well right when she came up on the monitor her legs were spread out with her cute little butt on the screen and the first thing the ultra sound tech said was, "Do you want to know the gender? It's a girl" I ugly cried. I was attached to HER before we knew for sure if she was a girl. I felt connected to her and so did Ryan and I was so nervous going to the appointment, not that I wouldn't have been over the moon if it was a boy, but I had a bond with my girl and it felt so right! We are so grateful. I think this is definitely one of the craziest months of our lives thus far. So many beautiful and good things, and so many extremely heartbreaking mountains to climb. Our new house is slowly getting there! I am so happy to be here. It's so beautiful and I feel so lucky to raise my family in this beautiful home. It was hard to say goodbye our town home on Sunday. Our first home. The community there helped me through the hardest time in my life and helped me enjoy the most beautiful parts of it as well. Yorkshire will always have the most beautiful place in my heart. My family is all at Tony's trial right now. It's horrible. And painful. And I dread when it's all over the news again and all the jerks out there get to gossip and have their insensitive opinion about it all and then go on with their day... Why we are left without Tony. And so much trauma to continue to work through. I want to punch so many people right now. . Can you tell I'm a little angry? A lot angry? And sad. But with all the jerks out there my family has once again been so blessed by so many of the wonderful people of SV. So many wonderful people have stuck by us and supported us. I love our little valley. Back to baby girl! I think we have a name. We had a name that we loved but as soon as we saw her face it didn't fit! Names are so fun. Here's the sweet video had made by the talented Shey Allen. We are so tired in it and happy, and really stressed.. but so happy. I'm so glad we have this video to remind us of everything hard and beautiful right now. Love you guys!

xoxoxo 

Baby Shurtleff | Gender Reveal from Shey Allen Films on Vimeo.

how big is baby: tomato! 

weight gain: 2 pounds 

sleep: is ok! river is sleeping better. woo! 

missing: not much right now.. well i guess running! i mowed our forest of a lawn with river in our hiking pack and it was the biggest workout of my life hahah! so it's nice to be able to stay really active still but running hurts too bad this time around. 

craving: EVERYTHING!

feeling: see above

gender: girl and i kind of want to announce her name now hahah! but we will wait! 

best moment of the week:  see her beautiful face. she looks like riv with her hansen nose and mouth. PRAYING she has ryan's eyes and hair. like you can imagine?

looking forward to: going to SV tomorrow to be with my family. 

18 weeks with baby #2

We closed on our new house last week. My mom came Friday and helped with paint prep and my in-laws came Saturday and worked their butts off getting some rooms painted. I'm getting really exciting now that I've see the house more and watching Riv and Kase play in the backyard together makes me SO HAPPY! Having a month to process leaving Yorkshire helped. I'm sentimental sure, and I have a really hard time saying goodbye.. I'm going to miss our neighbors. But the fact that our Yorkshire home was the last place I hugged Tony has been the hardest part of all this. I watched him fold his pizza in half like a weirdo and listened to him laugh while he sat at my kitchen table. It's hard to move on and live somewhere he will never see and I have no memories of him in. It terrifies me that I haven't heard his voice in 21 months. And as I start to look older and move on and live and experience new things. He won't be. He should be here. I know I sound ungrateful to be moving into this beautiful home, but I'm not. I'm very grateful! I can't wait to raise my children here and make so many beautiful memories. I hope to create a home everyone feels welcome in. A home friends, family, and my children can be and feel comfort and peace. I'm so happy to have more room for that! Mikey is already breaking in the basement and filling our house with the smell of hot pockets. Haha. And that makes me really happy. 

xo 

how big is baby: 5.5 in and 5 oz :)

weight gain: i'm back to pre-pregnancy weight because of all the stress of moving and everything going on this month with my family. 

sleep: river has a good 3 week stretch where he was up for HOURS during the night screaming and then up for the day at 5:30 or 6. me and ryan were dying haha. but these past 4 nights he's done so much better! i fell asleep around 9 last night and slept until 7:30! haha! 

missing: the usual. working out hard!

craving: soup. and smoothies. :) my mom's cooking always sounds good too. 

feeling: when i get really stressed while I'm pregnant i can't keep anything down. so i haven't been feeling awesome these past couple weeks! but i feel better than i deserve. 

gender: we are both thinking girl. WE FIND OUT THURSDAY!

best moment of the week:  signing the papers for our house. me and ryan have worked so hard to get to this point. so exciting! 

looking forward to: THURSDAY!

16 weeks with baby number 2

We spent the weekend in Laramie for Sagan's wedding. It was just perfect. Watching my best friend walk down the isle looking like an angel and seeing her so happy... It was the best thing. I loved having so much time with Ryan too. We needed a break from real life. Don't we all... haha. But it was so nice. But day 3 I missed River too much. I'm never leaving him again.  Thanks to Nana and Pop Pop for watching our boys! Here we go!

how big is baby: avocado! I'm at the stage of pregnancy where my bump grows and then disappears... It all kind of depends on what I eat!  

weight gain: 2 pounds.

sleep: I had the hardest time sleeping all weekend which is silly! because I didn't have a child keeping me up! but my separation anxiety is real... 

missing: running.. I was able to run my whole pregnancy with Riv! But it's pretty painful this time around. I can still do the stair stepper and bike and stuff. But I miss running! 

craving: EVERYTHING. I can't stop eating. 

feeling: I feel great!  

gender: we are both thinking girl! 

best moment of the week:  seeing my sagan in her beautiful gown. it was magic. 

looking forward to: closing on our new house next week!

15 weeks with baby #2

hey you guys! i hope you all had the best weekend. we hiked to white pine on saturday. our favorite hike! i realized how out of shape i really am. but we did it! we also took bernie swimming at this fishing hole and i was the weirdo in the swimsuit getting in with him. hahah. but look at that little bump!!! river has never been as cute as he is now. he's never had more attitude either. hahah. I LOVE HIM! ryan and i both said numerous times this weekend.. "dang, he's cute." here's a little baby update. i skipped last week because there weren't any changes from week 13 to 14! but a couple this week so here we go! 

how big is baby: lemon sized! 

weight gain: up 1 pound. 

sleep: pretty great actually! i mean of course i would love to sleep in past the 6:30am wake up call river gives us, but i can't complain. 

missing: being able to work out SUPER HARD! i always say this don't i? hahah.  i can still work out pretty well! i just get super winded, and i haven't been able to run as much this pregnancy because it's uncomfortable running with the stroller! but i have been lifting a lot more and doing sprints at the gym. 

craving: everything. give me all the food. i'm always hungry. always eating. just please no sugar because it makes me sick k?

feeling: pretty great pregnancy wise. and we just won't get into other areas. hahah. 

gender: i think boy most of the time. but we heard baby's heartbeat a few days ago and i thought, "there she is!" just like at the ultra sound too! so who knows! 

best moment of the week:  river being river. and hearing that heartbeat! OH and I FELT THE BABY! If i lay on my stomach in a certain position I can feel it move a tiny bit! 

looking forward to: sagan's wedding in a few days! YAY!!!!!! 

xxooxxoxoxo 

13 weeks with baby number 2!

It's only been a week since my last post!? K what? That feels like 4 years ago. Because FAIR WEEK! We were partying all week, but also had some crappy things going on too. Because LIFE. So it felt a little long  in the BEST and worst way. I'm tired. But yay for good things to get us through right?! Like laughing with people we love, and hugs.. oh and fair food. HASHTAG FUNNEL CAKES WITH CARMEL. Do you like my bumpdate outfit? hehe. We tie-dyed shirts on Saturday and they turned out so cute! And I probably look tired and a tiny bit out of it, and that's a pretty accurate representation of this moment. I bought some hair extensions. The mermaid length. So I'm feeling pretty fly. I really love my family. And I still am amazed every day with how kind and wonderful Ryan is. He is my hero. And River. Oh that Riv boy. He is hilarious right now. Jabbering and wrestling with a rock, stick, or ball in his hand. He was just as happy as he could be with his cousins all week. Little sweetie! Now for this pregnancy update! 

how big is baby: as big as a peach!! 

weight gain: nothing yet. which is surprising because i ate horrible all week. which is silly of me because it makes me so sick when i eat badly! sugar kills me. 

sleep:  just up once a night to go pee. i just wish i could turn my mind off and go right back to sleep quicker. that's the real struggle. 

missing: working out super hard! and i was so sad i couldn't do spartan with my older siblings yesterday! but of course i'd rather be pregnant. but man.. that FOMO struggle was in full force yesterday. i'm so proud of them for finishing! 

craving: SMOOTHIES! all day every day please! "pom pom soup" (tomato juice and macaroni) and salt and vinegar chips

feeling: when it comes to pregnancy..i'm feeling great. i have super tired and nauseous moments, but it's super manageable. 

gender: i've been saying she for a while, but today i called it a little dude a few times! i just want to know please! 

best moment of the week: seeing river play with his cousins.   

looking forward to: my appt next week! i love hearing that heartbeat. 

xxooxxoxoxo