It's a girl! We had a hunch. I just feel so happy.  The first time I saw her at 9 weeks and each time I heard her heart beat, I thought girl! But it wasn't as strong as my hunch with River so I wasn't 100% sure. :) It took about 50 minutes for River to show us the goods so I was expecting the same with this sweetie. Well right when she came up on the monitor her legs were spread out with her cute little butt on the screen and the first thing the ultra sound tech said was, "Do you want to know the gender? It's a girl" I ugly cried. I was attached to HER before we knew for sure if she was a girl. I felt connected to her and so did Ryan and I was so nervous going to the appointment, not that I wouldn't have been over the moon if it was a boy, but I had a bond with my girl and it felt so right! We are so grateful. I think this is definitely one of the craziest months of our lives thus far. So many beautiful and good things, and so many extremely heartbreaking mountains to climb. Our new house is slowly getting there! I am so happy to be here. It's so beautiful and I feel so lucky to raise my family in this beautiful home. It was hard to say goodbye our town home on Sunday. Our first home. The community there helped me through the hardest time in my life and helped me enjoy the most beautiful parts of it as well. Yorkshire will always have the most beautiful place in my heart. My family is all at Tony's trial right now. It's horrible. And painful. And I dread when it's all over the news again and all the jerks out there get to gossip and have their insensitive opinion about it all and then go on with their day... Why we are left without Tony. And so much trauma to continue to work through. I want to punch so many people right now. . Can you tell I'm a little angry? A lot angry? And sad. But with all the jerks out there my family has once again been so blessed by so many of the wonderful people of SV. So many wonderful people have stuck by us and supported us. I love our little valley. Back to baby girl! I think we have a name. We had a name that we loved but as soon as we saw her face it didn't fit! Names are so fun. Here's the sweet video had made by the talented Shey Allen. We are so tired in it and happy, and really stressed.. but so happy. And River is just so dang cute in it! haha! I'm so glad we have this video to remind us of everything hard and beautiful right now. Love you guys!

xoxoxo 

Baby Shurtleff | Gender Reveal from Shey Allen Films on Vimeo.

how big is baby: tomato! 

weight gain: 2 pounds 

sleep: is ok! river is sleeping better. woo! 

missing: not much right now.. well i guess running! i mowed our forest of a lawn with river in our hiking pack and it was the biggest workout of my life hahah! so it's nice to be able to stay really active still but running hurts too bad this time around. 

craving: EVERYTHING!

feeling: see above

gender: girl and i kind of want to announce her name now hahah! but we will wait! 

best moment of the week:  see her beautiful face. she looks like riv with her hansen nose and mouth. PRAYING she has ryan's eyes and hair. like you can imagine?

looking forward to: going to SV tomorrow to be with my family. 

19 weeks with baby GIRL!

It's a girl! We had a hunch. I just feel so happy.  The first time I saw her at 9 weeks and each time I heard her heart beat, I thought girl! But it wasn't as strong as my hunch with River so I wasn't 100% sure. :) It took about 50 minutes for River to show us the goods so I was expecting the same with this sweetie. Well right when she came up on the monitor her legs were spread out with her cute little butt on the screen and the first thing the ultra sound tech said was, "Do you want to know the gender? It's a girl" I ugly cried. I was attached to HER before we knew for sure if she was a girl. I felt connected to her and so did Ryan and I was so nervous going to the appointment, not that I wouldn't have been over the moon if it was a boy, but I had a bond with my girl and it felt so right! We are so grateful. I think this is definitely one of the craziest months of our lives thus far. So many beautiful and good things, and so many extremely heartbreaking mountains to climb. Our new house is slowly getting there! I am so happy to be here. It's so beautiful and I feel so lucky to raise my family in this beautiful home. It was hard to say goodbye our town home on Sunday. Our first home. The community there helped me through the hardest time in my life and helped me enjoy the most beautiful parts of it as well. Yorkshire will always have the most beautiful place in my heart. My family is all at Tony's trial right now. It's horrible. And painful. And I dread when it's all over the news again and all the jerks out there get to gossip and have their insensitive opinion about it all and then go on with their day... Why we are left without Tony. And so much trauma to continue to work through. I want to punch so many people right now. . Can you tell I'm a little angry? A lot angry? And sad. But with all the jerks out there my family has once again been so blessed by so many of the wonderful people of SV. So many wonderful people have stuck by us and supported us. I love our little valley. Back to baby girl! I think we have a name. We had a name that we loved but as soon as we saw her face it didn't fit! Names are so fun. Here's the sweet video had made by the talented Shey Allen. We are so tired in it and happy, and really stressed.. but so happy. I'm so glad we have this video to remind us of everything hard and beautiful right now. Love you guys!

xoxoxo 

Baby Shurtleff | Gender Reveal from Shey Allen Films on Vimeo.

how big is baby: tomato! 

weight gain: 2 pounds 

sleep: is ok! river is sleeping better. woo! 

missing: not much right now.. well i guess running! i mowed our forest of a lawn with river in our hiking pack and it was the biggest workout of my life hahah! so it's nice to be able to stay really active still but running hurts too bad this time around. 

craving: EVERYTHING!

feeling: see above

gender: girl and i kind of want to announce her name now hahah! but we will wait! 

best moment of the week:  see her beautiful face. she looks like riv with her hansen nose and mouth. PRAYING she has ryan's eyes and hair. like you can imagine?

looking forward to: going to SV tomorrow to be with my family. 

18 weeks with baby #2

We closed on our new house last week. My mom came Friday and helped with paint prep and my in-laws came Saturday and worked their butts off getting some rooms painted. I'm getting really exciting now that I've see the house more and watching Riv and Kase play in the backyard together makes me SO HAPPY! Having a month to process leaving Yorkshire helped. I'm sentimental sure, and I have a really hard time saying goodbye.. I'm going to miss our neighbors. But the fact that our Yorkshire home was the last place I hugged Tony has been the hardest part of all this. I watched him fold his pizza in half like a weirdo and listened to him laugh while he sat at my kitchen table. It's hard to move on and live somewhere he will never see and I have no memories of him in. It terrifies me that I haven't heard his voice in 21 months. And as I start to look older and move on and live and experience new things. He won't be. He should be here. I know I sound ungrateful to be moving into this beautiful home, but I'm not. I'm very grateful! I can't wait to raise my children here and make so many beautiful memories. I hope to create a home everyone feels welcome in. A home friends, family, and my children can be and feel comfort and peace. I'm so happy to have more room for that! Mikey is already breaking in the basement and filling our house with the smell of hot pockets. Haha. And that makes me really happy. 

xo 

how big is baby: 5.5 in and 5 oz :)

weight gain: i'm back to pre-pregnancy weight because of all the stress of moving and everything going on this month with my family. 

sleep: river has a good 3 week stretch where he was up for HOURS during the night screaming and then up for the day at 5:30 or 6. me and ryan were dying haha. but these past 4 nights he's done so much better! i fell asleep around 9 last night and slept until 7:30! haha! 

missing: the usual. working out hard!

craving: soup. and smoothies. :) my mom's cooking always sounds good too. 

feeling: when i get really stressed while I'm pregnant i can't keep anything down. so i haven't been feeling awesome these past couple weeks! but i feel better than i deserve. 

gender: we are both thinking girl. WE FIND OUT THURSDAY!

best moment of the week:  signing the papers for our house. me and ryan have worked so hard to get to this point. so exciting! 

looking forward to: THURSDAY!

16 weeks with baby number 2

We spent the weekend in Laramie for Sagan's wedding. It was just perfect. Watching my best friend walk down the isle looking like an angel and seeing her so happy... It was the best thing. I loved having so much time with Ryan too. We needed a break from real life. Don't we all... haha. But it was so nice. But day 3 I missed River too much. I'm never leaving him again.  Thanks to Nana and Pop Pop for watching our boys! Here we go!

how big is baby: avocado! I'm at the stage of pregnancy where my bump grows and then disappears... It all kind of depends on what I eat!  

weight gain: 2 pounds.

sleep: I had the hardest time sleeping all weekend which is silly! because I didn't have a child keeping me up! but my separation anxiety is real... 

missing: running.. I was able to run my whole pregnancy with Riv! But it's pretty painful this time around. I can still do the stair stepper and bike and stuff. But I miss running! 

craving: EVERYTHING. I can't stop eating. 

feeling: I feel great!  

gender: we are both thinking girl! 

best moment of the week:  seeing my sagan in her beautiful gown. it was magic. 

looking forward to: closing on our new house next week!