27 weeks with baby #3

Wednesday, September 5, 2018


I made it! This pregnancy has had some ups and some major downs. It's been a fight and a struggle like a lot of stages of motherhood but for the fast few weeks I've been feeling so much better and stronger emotionally. The last part of pregnancy is my absolute favorite and I made it! We did it! I say we because I've had SO MUCH support from my husband mainly and my family and beautiful friends. I could not do motherhood without this freakin village. I've gained a good solid 10 pounds. I've been battling body images issues and feeling frustrated with my energy level... but I'm meeting that with self-compassion and that's ALWAYS the answer. I'm always hungry and always always always THIRSTY. River and Golden have come a long way this summer. They are playing together! Guys! This is huge!!!!!! I just feel so lucky to have these babies. So lucky. (and a lot overwhelmed) but SO lucky. This time of year is my favorite. Routine is just my favorite and fall and holidays and cozy-ness! Ahhhhh I'm just so in love. We are going on a 2 week trip, flying out Friday. Should be fun with lots of interesting experiences mixed in because.... toddlers.... and pregnancy.... and a pink-haired girl that struggles with flying + vacationing.. (Thank you anxiety, you are so fun) But I'm going to try my hardest to soak it alllllll in. 

20 weeks with baby #3!

Saturday, July 21, 2018

A pregnancy update! It's taken me a lot longer to get around to doing this for this pregnancy. 

I'm just not sure if I'm ready or want to be vulnerable about how difficult this pregnancy has been for me. So I'll keep it simple. I'm not ready to go into details. :) Physically I feel great. But emotionally it's been extremely hard. There's such a stigma on mental illness that even after all these years of being open about it I'm just too fragile to talk to much about it right now. It's very painful and lonely.  I have felt judged. I have felt weak.  I feel extremely frustrated. I've found myself withdrawing. But I'm here. One day at a time. Trying not to do the "Sami Jo, you should be so happy you have everything you need to be happy." Because shaming doesn't help.. imagine that! 

I've gained  6-7 pounds depending on the day. I've gotten bigger so much faster with this one! I am in my 30s.. and it is my 3rd pregnancy. But it still surprises me! haha! 

I'm hungry always. If I could have Tandoori Oven every night. That would be the ideal hahah! 

Work is good. Trying to slow down a bit! With this pregnancy being a surprise I had a lot on my books already so I've had to cancel a few things. 

Yoga is the reason my body feels so good! It's never felt this good pregnant! 

I can't believe it's a girl! hahah! I was SO wrong! I let myself be human the day we found out and I cried over the boy I had in my heart. But I woke up the next day stoked. Another girl. I think she's going to be wild and free like mama. 

I've finalized her name in my head. Ryan doesn't know it yet haha. He likes to wait of course. I like to plan of course. It's gone my way for the last 2 so I'm pretty confident this is it for her! ;) 

That's all for now. Hopefully the next update will be a little more upbeat. But just keeping it real ya know?! 

I love her. I love my kids. Gotta work on being nicer to myself now. 


xoxo 



One year with Golden.

Monday, February 12, 2018







 


































Hey Golds! 

Let me tell you a little bit about your first year on this beautiful Earth! 

You were breech most of the pregnancy, flipped 2 days before your scheduled c-section and I went into labor hours later.  You came out screaming.. so loud! You cried for 40 minutes and then didn't cry again for a month I swear. Ha! 

Your first night home was rough. And then you slept through the night every night after that with a few bad nights here and there. Seriously a champion sleeper like Dad. 

You have always been a very content child as long as you are close to the people you love. 

You started giving me smiles when you were 2 weeks old. You've always looked at me like you've always known me. The first six months of your life you didn't want to be anywhere other then my arms. Oh sweetheart. It was hard on your Dad, but gosh I needed that. You healed parts of my heart that were so broken. 

Once you turned 6 months you started to realize how comforting Dads arms were. You are so cute because if me and Dad are in the same room you take turns reaching for both of us. Haha! 

You have always been River's #1 fan. He kind of does his own thing, but any interaction he'll give you is magic for you. 

You have always been SO SMILEY! You and River have always had the brightest smiles. My sunshine babies. 

You love music. 

When we are out and about you get comments about your blue eyes and how tiny you are. 

You love throwing stuff off of your high chair. Especially your bottle! It's so annoying. Haha! 

Your favorite game is picking up toys and handing them to whoever is closest to you. 

You are a lot more assertive than River was when you play. River takes his time and likes it done right. You are a little more free. 

You are definitely an introvert, but you love people so much. It just takes you a while to get comfortable. Just like Dad! I love that about you. You prefer men over women for sure! The gruffer looking the dude the better! haha! Anytime I pass you off to a chick you cry, you're always pretty comfortable when a male is holding you. It's so funny. 

You can say, hi, yay, mama, dada (first word), baba, and uh-oh and can sign "more" and "all done"

You still suck that thumb! 

Nurse once a day (I can't stop! You are fine either way)

You are absolute magic.